


Gone Girl

by delicatelingon



Category: Good Girls (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-01
Updated: 2020-03-08
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:58:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22979485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/delicatelingon/pseuds/delicatelingon
Summary: All the times Beth lied, and all the times she didn't.
Relationships: Beth Boland/Rio
Comments: 30
Kudos: 117





	1. Chapter 1

One of the first things Rio learned in this line of work was never to lie to yourself.  
Always mean what you say. Otherwise people would see through you, find the week spots and make them harden.  
When he was a kid and his parents would fight, he would try and break them up. His mother would say, _“stay in your lane”._ Don’t get involved and you won’t get hurt, is what she meant. His father was a loving father, but tough on them, nonetheless. That’s what he did, he stayed in his lane until he’s lane followed the curve to a junction and the road followed a new lane.

One of the things Rio took noticed of Elizabeth right away, was she knew how to get shit done. If she needed to knock over some boxes at the supermarket, holding up a robbery she would. If she needed to get square, she would. No questions asked, cross boarder just to not be in anyone’s’ debt.

He shouldn’t have been so surprised that she followed him home, again. Nearly blamed himself for not catching her sooner.

She had made him not feel so alone.

Beth used to lie.  
She lied to her friends, her family, Dean and Ruby.

She was like a chameleon, whoever they needed her to be she became. Dean wanted her to be a good girl, a nurturer and a mother. Someone who didn’t complain about business hours, threw house parties and raised his kids.

Annie needed someone to rely on.  
Her mother needed someone that would care for her, so she did.  
She didn’t lie as much to Ruby as the rest, but she still lied. It was second nature.

Dean lied as well. He had this idea in his head about her and him, he couldn’t shake off. As she molded to it, he continued to lie.

But everyone knows that a good girl is boring.

Dean lied a little less to himself every day, but more to her. It didn’t matter, he told himself, he was a nice guy.

The thing Dean hated about Rio was that Beth never seemed to lie to him. She was never a good girl or a money launderer, just _was._ Even he saw that.  
The mold Dean had perfected for her started to wear down and crack, and ever so faster after Rio.

“Tell them to leave.”

She did, “Annie, Ruby, give us some space.”

“You sure sis’?”

“Please.”

“Okay, be safe.”

“Now you.”

“Give us a sec’.” Head turned to the side, giving orders.

His boys in their backyard and her ladies on their way home.

“You called.”

“I need to speak to you alone. Tell your guys to go home.”

“No.” Not one for explaining himself, but he didn’t trust themselves around each other. Who could tell what would happen?

She’s watching them talking in hushed voices in the backyard through the kitchen window. They must think she’s an idiot. Or that he is.

“Did they know you were alive this whole time?”

“What do you want?”

“Follow me.”

She takes him away from them, following her to her new bedroom. It smells like her. Like when he had his nose in her hair and her body pressed against his. She keeps talking and he’s not interested. Being invited he walks around and has a look. It’s evident she doesn’t share this room with her husband.

When she’s looking for something in a draw, her back to him, he steps forward and grabs her. Holding her upper arms and nose in her hair, he can feel her heart beating against his chest. It’s not until he grinds against her that she relaxes and leans against him. When his hands wander, her hands grips his hips and leans into him. He squeezes her breasts until she’s grinding back at him, when she does, he lets one go and presses a hand between her shoulder blades until she’s leaning forward, presenting herself to him.  
  
He briefly looks out her bedroom window, and sees one of his men watching them, he looks away as soon as Rio clocks him.  
  


Letting her go to open his jeans and pull them down his hips, she pulls her dress up, waiting. A hand on her ass as she holds her underwear to the side for him.  
Looking at her, stroking himself, he wills himself to remember that sight forever.

“My men can see us from the yard.”

“Let them.”

It’s all he needs to hear as he enters her, he strokes the head between her folds and then inches forward. It’s quick, hard, and the dresser rattles as he fucks her against it.

When they’re finished and they’re panting he holds her. Being cooped up in that hotel room he thought about her a lot. Not just her.  
It’s not until he’s slipped out of her and tucked in that she turns around and kisses him. It’s sweet, desperate and feels like guilt, and for a brief moment he wonders if that’s why she let him fuck her.

Out of the corner of his eye he can see his men beginning to look restless, no, unsettled. Then he hears the front door opening from far away, and a question.

“Bethie?”

Now he knows exactly why she let him fuck her.

He pats Dean on his arm as he passes him on the way out and from the look on his face, he can tell he hasn’t been aware that he’s been back for sometime.


	2. Chapter 2

Rhea used to be a cool girl. Effortlessly hot (or so she let everyone think) drinking beer and watching games with the guys.  
She wanted it all. The danger, the mystic, a bad guy and a fast car.  
Rio had been everything and more and when he promised her the world, she wanted it.  
When Marcus came along it changed. She changed. All she wanted for her and her son to be safe. It had started before he even was born, the need for him to remain an innocent. She chose him.  
Rhea had however seen more of Rios world to not trust him when it came to the matter of their safety.  
She might have lied to herself from the start, she didn’t know. Never wanting to be a mother before, never having the right tenderness, or so she believed.  
She would always pick her family when it came down to it.

Rio told her to step away from Beth, or _Elizabeth_ , as he said, she was bad news and had fucked with his business. Honestly? She just didn’t want to get involved, she might not want her to die, but crossing Rio was not something she planned to do anytime soon.

Beth kept showing up, kept being alive. She stopped trying to contact Rhea, stopped trying to talk to her. She got a “ _thank you”,_ in passing, but that was it.  
It didn’t surprise Rhea, but it didn’t not surprise her. She noticed it. Trying to talk to Rio about it turned into a dead end, “ _stay out of our business”_ he had said in passing, not even to paus to take her questions genuine. That surprised her, _our._

First time he showed up to a soccer game of Marcus, staying at her side, watching his son, being a good dad, like he was when he could. When Rhea went to divide the apple slices, he seemed to disappear and when she caught sight of him again. He was sitting on a bench an arm’s length away from _her_. The one _she_ was told to stay away from.  
Watching them from afar, he seemed to pull her long bangs in a teasing way, the way a _boy_ who wants a girls’ attention would.  
Seeing Beth give him an unappreciated look, one that didn’t dissuade him. Talking about something and pushing her buttons until she gave him that small smile he seemed to need.

Rhea was astonished that he showed up the week after, rooting for Markus, helping with chores around the activity. It didn’t take him long until he had left her side and sidled up with Beth.

Beth had never _lied_ to Rhea, she may not have been honest all the way, but she hadn’t outright lied.

To say Annie looked up to Beth would be an understatement. To her, she would always be the one who set her straight, who held her hand through the birth of her son and when her marriage failed. When she was a teenager trying to find her way, wanting to rebel against parents who couldn’t find it in them to care.

Beth would also be the bossiest, most frustrating person she knew, even more so then her ex. Sometimes it would be enough for Beth to utter one word and she would feel the urge to tackle her and try and pull her hair like when she was a kid. It always ended with Beth sitting on her, but not without having a sore scalp.

Beth had always lied to her. It seemed to be her default setting when it came to Annie. For knowing Beth her entire life, she still found herself learning more and more about her. The way a kid would start to learn about their parent when they’d be all grown up. Now a days, it seemed to end in truth. Or she could just be a lot better at reading her.

Getting to Beth’s house a bit early, she’d skipped lunch and was hoping to dig up some leftovers, she couldn’t miss the dark Range Rover parked down the street.

She sat in her car waiting. Knowing she tended to make things worse but telling herself that she had her heart in the right place every time. Not wanting to chicken out, she grabbed a handful of the cereal she kept in her car in case she suffered from low blood sugar or munchies. As she approached his car the dry cereal started to tickle her throat and it took everything in her not to start coughing.

Leaning against his open window sitting in the driver seat, he didn’t seem to register when she walked up to him. She waited for him to acknowledge her, which he did with an eyebrow, making her scoff, that’s all she gets?

“What are you doing here?”

“I have business.” Keeping the answer short, not looking up from his cell.

“With?”

“……”

“With?” She probed.

“Elizabeth. What do you want?”

“I am wondering why you are stalking outside my sister's house.”

“We have business.”

“So you’ve said. Tell me and I’ll pass the message on.”

That just earned her a glance that told her that was never going to happen.

“Why do you need to see her?”

“I don’t _need_ anything.”

“So you _want_ to see her.”

That seem to strike a nerve in him, clenching his jaw as he seemed to actively ignore her.

“You know what?” Looking up from his cell, making eye contact. “You can let your sister know I’ll be back later.” With that he started the car and pulled out.

Annie couldn’t help that she felt a bit nauseous over the encounter, mixed with hopefulness. Feeling that maybe Beth would be okay in the end.


	3. Chapter 3

Beth was dead. There was nothing she could do. He would kill her. All she could think at the bar was not to die, she hadn’t thought further then that.

  
Drinking a glass of water, standing by the sink, looking at the guy in her backyard with a face tattoo, there to keep an eye on her.  
She could see him sitting by the backyard table having a snack. She had half a mind to invite him in, it could still be quite chilly outside. She heard the front door opening. Not turning around, she greeted Annie.  
Annie came up to stand beside her, to see what she was looking at.

“Rio’s still got someone watching you?”

“Yup.”

“What are you going to do?”

“Don’t know.”

“The offer still stands, I’ll drive you to Canada and get us that baby.”

“How would that even work?”

“You can get this pregnancy bellies online, we wait the right amount of time, then we drive up there, come back with a baby.”

“We don’t have the means.”

“We’ll start the presses up again.”

“What about paternity test?”

“Do you think you can get the doctor to fake it?”

“You’re insane.”

“Anything for you sis’”

“I just want a drink.”

“Let’s take a break from day-drinking for the time being.”

She guided Beth firmly to the couch, motioning for her to lie down. Annie laid down beside her, letting Beth stroke her hair, calming her down. She hadn’t even noticed how tense she was.

“Where’s Deansy?”

“He took the kids to his mom, their staying there for some time. At least ‘til we’ve figured things out.”

“Did he leave the shotgun at least?”

“Yup.”

“Good of him.”

The soothing of Beth stroking Annie’s hair made her breath even out and soon she fell as sleep. Having her sister by her side made Beth feel safe, for the time being, she found herself taking deeper and deeper breaths until she to, fell asleep.

Annie’s was the one to come to it first. It had gotten dark outside. There was a soft glow from the light in the kitchen, she squinted as her eyes were trying to adjust.

“Jesus.” The sight of Rio sitting in an armchair working on his cell made her jolt and sit straight up.  
“Come on dude. This is just creepy.”

He regarded her for a few seconds, before he nodded towards Beth.  
“How she doin’?”

“You and your guys are freaking her the fuck out.”

“She isn’t the most trustworthy person.”

“Take that back.” She was aware she sounded like a petulant child. Beth were her sister, she would always stand up for her.

“Do I have to remind you that she shot me?”

“Maybe you shouldn’t have put a bag over her head, telling her to shoot someone.”

“She seemed fine with the shooting part.”

“She wasn’t.”

They regarded each other, until he seemed to dismiss her and continue working.

“You should wake her, we need to get going.”

“Where?”

“Just wake her.”

Annie looked at her sleeping sister, who looked peaceful for the first time since Gangfriend had resurrected. She unceremoniously leaned down and started blowing wet raspberries on her neck and cheeks.

Beth forced her eyes to stay shut as she tried to swat Annie away.

“Stop. Stop it! God you’re such a child. Annie, I mean it! It’s disgusting.”

Beth rolled over and pressed her face into a pillow and Annie laid down and snuggled closer. It wasn’t until she whispered, “Gangfriend’s here.”  
That made Beth open her eyes, being met with Rio’s gaze, she avoided his gaze.

“I need to pee.”

“Make it quick, we need to hit the road.”

Just to spite him she decided to take a shower. Halfway through her normal routine, there was knocking on the door.

“We’re leaving in fifteen.” He called out, paused, then added, “Don’t, test me”.

She dressed comfortably but smart, not knowing where they were headed. Annie and Rio were lounging in the kitchen waiting for her. As she joined them, Rio explained the situation.

“Something's going down later, and I need you stay at a place for the night. So bring whatever you need.”  
  


“We can’t just leave.”

“I ain’t asking, mama.”


	4. Chapter 4

Annie wouldn’t say the car ride was pleasant, she was seated in the back with the small overnight bag Beth had packed for them. Beth were sitting rigid in the seat next to Rio as he drove them across town.  
He pulled in a driveway to a nice-looking house, shutting the car off, he didn’t wait for them to catch up as he walked to the front door. Knocking and opening it at the same time.  
Once they caught up and stepped inside, they were met with a small woman in an inviting home.

“This is Mari, you’ll be staying here tonight. If there’s anything, she’ll let me know.”

There was an underlying threat about staying put.

“Follow me.”

They followed Rio up the stairs to the first floor, Mari trailed last, helping as he showed them around. There where to small bedrooms, one kid bedroom Annie was shown to and a nice guestroom for Beth. They both settled in hers.

He left them shortly in Mari’s care, it soon became apparent she was the guy with the face tattoos wife.  
She heated them some pasta with red sauce, and they all awkwardly sat and watched TV as they ate and tried to make polite small talk. When it was possible, they excused themselves and retreated to their rooms. Talking for a bit before they turned the lighting off, it took them forever before they finally fell asleep.

Beth slept light during the night, when the bed dipped besides her, she began to stir.

“You up, mama?”

Rio smelled of sot, sweat, as he nosed her hair, pushing his lips to her temple in a small kiss.

Annie were nowhere to be seen.

She laid completely still as his hands began to wander over her. Hands found her soft flesh, stroking and kneading. Kissing her lips, first the lower, then the upper, gently slipping his tongue in her mouth. Pausing to search her eyes as she wasn’t responding to him. Stroking the side of her face, he saw her swallow slowly.  
He didn’t like the unease, the resembles of fear in her eyes, at the same time he knew she needed to know she wasn’t in the clear. Not finding the answer he was looking for he settle beside her, tucking her in against his side, feeling her relax against him.

Next time she awoke, it was to Annie bouncing on her bed.

“What did he want?”

“…”

“Please.”

“Don’t know, we didn’t talk much.”

“Don’t tell me you…”

“No. Of course not.”

“He caught me when I was leaving the bathroom. Just waiting outside like some big creep. Telling me to stay in the kid’s bedroom.”

“It’s fine, he just wanted to know if everything was alright.”

“I met Mari, there’s breakfast downstairs. She didn’t know when we would be able to leave. Gangfriend seems to be gone though.”

“Perfect.”

The entire day seem to go on in slow motion, Mari didn’t have any information to pass on. Only knowing it had to do with “work” and since they all seemed unease about what the other one knew, they didn’t discuss it. Part of the evening seemed to repeat itself, when they could, they excused themselves, turning in.  
This time Beth woke to the sound of Rio telling Annie to walk over to the guestroom. She watched him across the room, he had redressed in casual sweatpants and a loose-fitting t shirt. He sat down beside her as she looked up at him.

“Can’t sleep?”

“I sleep horribly once I do sleep.”

“Do you need something to help you sleep?”

“I’m not sure that would be good for the baby.”

“Do you need something to help you sleep?” He repeated.

“What did you have in mind?”

“If I kiss you, are you going to kiss me back?”

She gave him a slow nod and he took that as an invitation to lean down and kiss her softly. It didn’t take long until it turned in to something more. Heavy kisses, and he worked open her top and pulled her pants down, leaving her naked except for her underwear.  
Laying next to her, stroking her over panties, between her legs as he tasted her skin on her clavicle, chest and nipples. Leaving marks until he had her begging, pulling her underwear down and she kicked them off, spreading her legs for him.  
Working her with his fingers, rubbing her and dipping his fingers, making her arch and pant, until she found her peek. It was long coming but still managed to take her by surprise.  
He stroke her softly on her upper body as she came down.

“Think you’ll be able to sleep now?”

He looked into her eyes as he asked her, as she laid beside him. Not waiting for an answer, he leaned over to turn the lights off, turning around and pulling the covers over himself.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit bloody, and stays on the topic of pregnancies. It might mention not so nice bits that may happen and things in pregnancies not going well. If you're sensitive to these things, please don't read.

Rio waited for Beth and Annie in the kitchen the next day. Telling them that once they had breakfast, he’d drive them home. He dropped Annie by her car as she needed to go by her ex to pick up her son.  
He walked Elizabeth inside her home, letting her know that he needed to stay with her for a bit, before he could have someone to watch her.

She jumped in the shower while he started to make calls and send emails to people. Checking in on people making sure they were doing their bits and setting up meetings.

If this _thing_ was happening, that this was something they were going to do, they would be bound for the rest of their life. He hadn’t liked the way she’d looked at him when he had kissed her and when he had come back later the following night. The work he had done during the day and evening were weighing on his mind. He needed to come back to someone who didn’t have fear in their eyes. Turning his back on her afterwards was what they did, they couldn’t start something before they had sorted this _thing_ out. Before he knew if he would let her live.

When she came out from her room, with toweled dried hair in a satin kimono. She sauntered into the kitchen grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge. It shouldn’t affect him the way it did, but when she turned around from the fridge, he was there, kissing her. From the lack of surprise from her, this was what she had hoped for and it only served to spur him on even more.

Walking backwards towards her room, shedding clothes along the way, he pulled the straps on her robe, letting it fall open. Appreciating the soft curves on her body as he took a break from kissing her, letting his hands wander on her breasts and her soft stomach, before grabbing her ass.  
When he felt the back of his knees hit the bed, he lets himself fall backwards, bringing her along. The sex is slow and angry. Even when she curls up close to him and he pulls the covers over them, nothing as changed.  
He can tell she knows.

His phone buzzes, waking him up a little bit later, he lets her stay tucked under the duvet as he leaves her home. Giving a nod to the guy outside, one of his more trusted once. Right now, he only wants his closest circle around her.

In the meantime, as they wait for the second check-up, Rio lets Beth come back for work again. Small jobs that’s suppose to keep her out of harm’s way. Most of what he does isn’t safe, given her track-record he only trusts her do the most boring ones.

They are in one of his offices, Rio learnt quickly Beth had a talent for organizing and making schedules. Going over drops with her and a few of his guys, sitting around a table, they needed to switch things up ever so often as not to be predictable.  
Beth suddenly inhales sharply and excuses herself, walking towards the bathroom. When she doesn’t come back, he briefly wonders if that was meant as an invitation. They hadn’t had sex since that day he drove her home, he found it better if he kept his distance. Having one of his men on her at all time, driving her to and from work.  
After a while he excuses himself to check on her, walking into the bathroom, it is a small one with a few cubicles.

“What’s happing? Your coming back anytime soon?”

“Uhm. Could you maybe grab me some paper towels?”

He could hear waver in her voice.

Grabbing some towels, he opened the door to the cubicle and the sight made him stop dead in his tracks. She grabs the towels and slams the door in his face, pushing against it as he tries to open it again. Once he manages to open it, all he can see is the blood that is trickling down the inside of her legs, she’d taken her shoes and the stockings off. Wiping blood away as stray tears escapes down her face.

“Don’t look at me.”

“What the fuck is happening.”

“Leave.”

“We need to get you to a doctor.”

Then his grabbing her, half tucking her under his arm, half dragging her and carrying her. When he leaves the bathroom, he’s barking order to his men who scurries to their feet. Some of them not knowing what’s going on and some of them, like him, realizes the gravity of the situation.  
When they leave the building, a car is waiting for them, he more or less hoists her in the backseat and joins her. Keeping her close tucked to him, while she clutches paper towels between her legs, hoping to stop the blood.

Reaching the hospital, she’s rushed into an examination, where the doctor tells them that she has in fact, lost the baby. Getting some pills for the next few days to help her body rid the remains. Not staying for long after that, the drive back is silent. Rios next to her but she’s pushed him away, sitting as far away from him as she can. Walking with her to her house, when the door is flung open and Ruby steps out with open arms. He’d sent her a short text letting her know what happened.

“Oh B.”

Beth walks right into her arms and starts sobbing.  
Ruby helps her get undress and wash the blood away in the shower. Putting her in pajamas and tucking her in and then lays beside her.  
Rios left, he hovered around for a bit, before declaring he had somewhere to be, not looking to good himself, with blood on his clothes and a weary face.

Even though Ruby knows that all Beth wants to do is sleep a leave this day behind, she can’t help herself.

“How did this happened, I thought you weren’t pregnant?”

“I wasn’t, and then I was.”

“Who was it, was it Deans?”

“I don’t know.”

“Oh B-b… What’s going to happen now, is he still gonna’… ?”

Beth lets the question hang, not knowing how to answer, it seems to chill her to the bones. Crying about her baby and that she might die in the next few days, it all feels so hopeless.


	6. Chapter 6

When Beth wakes, Annie’s by her side. For a moment she focuses on why Annie’s sitting on a bed reading her _Home Improvement_ magazine, then it hits her. Making her groan and seek comfort in her pillow.

“Hey, how are you feeling sis’? Having her voice sound as gentle as possible.

“I just want this to end.”

“I know. _Gangfriend_ was here before, checking- up on you, I told him to leave.”

“I don’t want to see him ever again.”

“How are you feeling with… all that happened.”

“Relieved. Sad.”

“I’m sorry for what happened to you.”

“I don’t ever want to get out of bed, ever again.”

Ruby and Annie takes turn keeping her company. They keep her away from the bourbon, but otherwise they supply her with comfort- food in bed. It’s Ruby who decides after a few days that Beth is in need of some tough love. Alternating with threating her and coaxing her to take a shower, put on some fresh clothes and at least let her air the room out and replace her bed for the couch.   
She’s spoken to her children everyday, if it weren’t for them, she’d be even further down the rabbit’s hole, she thinks to herself.

Walking into the living room, she falters for a split second before she continues to the couch Ruby’s made up for her, with pillows and blankets. Rio’s sitting in the armchair, watching.

“You’re not welcomed here.” She’s laid down on the couch, pulled the throw over her, facing away from him.

“I just came to check up on you.”

“I don’t want you to do that.”

She can her him sigh, but he’s not making any sound suggesting his up and left yet.

“I made your bed, B. Things were getting nasty. I’m pretty sure I found a half- eaten sandwich and some fries from two days ago.”

“That was Annie.”

Ruby settles at Beth end where her feet are, turning the TV on leaving the sound on low.

“Your getting to the rest of the week to wallow, then we’re having a barbeque at ours.” _Tough love, tough love_ , Ruby repeats to herself. She remembers Beth postpartum after Jane, how they’d let her be for too long.

“Am I turning into my mother?”

The question is asked in such a light voice Ruby almost misses it. She gets where Beth is coming from, her mom had not been the best mom. Ruby knows that her mom hadn’t always been that way but by the time they’d gotten to know one another, her mother had just, given up.

“Your nothing like your mom. Nothing. I remember the first time I met her, she gave me the heebie- jeebies.”   
Then added, “but we all know what happens when we let you wallow for too long, it makes it harder for you to come back to us.” She finishes in a gentler voice.  
Beth turns around and watches whatever reality show that Ruby’s got turned on. Rio still sitting in his chair, she can see him in her peripheral as he works on his laptop. When he leaves the room to make a call, Ruby speaks up again.

“He’s been here everyday, hanging around, checking in.”

“I don’t want him here.”

“You need to talk to him B. I know this happened to you, but this happened to him too.”

“I hate him.”

They leave the words to fill the room, she means it right now. Then he’s back, standing in the doorway. Letting them now he’s ordered in some food.   
As they wait for the delivery, Ruby announces she needs to leave, she’ll be back the next day to check in. Stan’s got work and she need to put her kids to bed. Leaving her with Rio.   
The foods delivered not long after that. Reluctantly Beth leaves the couch to relieve herself in the bathroom, splashing some cold water on her face. She catches herself in the mirror, barely recognizing the person starring back at her, she looks broken. Just like she had after shooting… Even in her thoughts she trails off.

Rio’s put plates on the counter and utensils for the dishes, it’s Indian food. Beth goes in search of wine or bourbon, she can drink just about anything with Rio here. Her cupboards are all empty, she noticed earlier that the shelf in the living room where they keep the good stuff was empty. It’s Rio who tells her.

“They didn’t think it would be good for you to be drinking right now.”

She knows who he means, her sister and her friend. Ruby won’t say she’s turning into her mother because she means to stop her.   
Taking a deep breath and exhaling slowly, she sits down across from him as they eat, barely picking at her food.   
He knows she doesn’t want him there, maybe he’d heard what she had told Ruby? She doesn’t know, but his tone is soft, gentle, in a way that’s not patronizing. It makes her swallow that lump in her throat that threatens to turn into a sob. He tries to make her engage in talking, she answers as in a short of tone as possible.   
All she’s thought about these past few days is this baby, she’s convinced it was his. She also knows that Dean can never know this about her. How did it become so messed up?   
The rest of the week she’s going to wallow she tells herself like Ruby said. Then, by the weekend, she’ll bury those feeling as deep as she can and move on.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whop whop! International women’s day today!  
> I have a small rant that I need to get off my chest.  
> Good girls is one of my guilty pleasures, it’s fun, sexy, but lets face it, it’s not groundbreaking.  
> One of the things I enjoy about this forum and this show is that it feels like it’s targeted towards women. There’s action, kids, working shitty jobs and having a sexist manager. Most of us can recognize these situations. Most of us have been in those situations. That's why I love so many of these ffs that's written here.
> 
> There’s an online community I usually hang out in where we also are mainly women, it’s a safe space. We discuss, argue, learn and make friends. I can only hope that men have these ‘safe spaces’ as well, oh wait… 
> 
> Loving the fact that they have someone on the show that’s transitioning, but, it’s a minor role with no real implication on the show. The main two women are white, the bad guys are minorities.  
> I don’t mind that the fact that a lot of what’s happening in this show is about Rio, but women sitting around talking about a man? We need to move past this, considering how great the writers on the show are, I wish they would be bolder.  
> I am considering myself to be a lazy ff writer, I need to be more including, but my stories are short and usually more to the point. There’s room for improvement.

It’s Ruby who notices it first, that Ben’s being secretive. Not that Annie _hadn’t_ noticed, she just figured that being a teenager had caught up with him.  
They’re at Stan’s and Ruby’s for pizza and movie-night. Annie’s happy chatting with Stan about work, she finds the whole thing so fascinating, Stan’s definitely picked up some tricks of the trade. The stories he tells about the patrons that visit the establish is something else.

“He had a what???!” Annie shrieks at Stans story.

“I swear, he stuck it up his, _you know what_ ” he whispers that last part, “using peanut butter, yes, the crunchy kind…”

“Egg roll, egg roll!!” Ruby intervenes before he can tell the whole story, he had already told her it, but that was behind closed doors while the kids were in bed, asleep. Not in the room next to them.

“Have you noticed that Ben’s seems to be really in- love with his phone lately?”

“Leave it babe.” Stan tries to get Ruby to butt out of other people’s life, he’d noticed as well, but if Annie wanted to be none- the- wiser, that was her call.

“Seems like he just become a teenager last week. For the first time in like forever, _I_ hade to remind him to do his homework last night. I don’t think that’s happened since, well, ever.”

“What’s he doing on his phone, anyway?”

“He says it some new game all the kids are playing.”

They all adjust their seats to get a view of the kids, especially Ben, who they could see was on his phone, tapping away.

“Do you think he’s talking to anyone in particular?” Annie asks.

“Ding-ding-ding-ding!” Stan says, Ruby rolls her eyes at Annie, as if saying, FINALLY!

“Do you think he has a, girlfriend? But he tells me everything.”

“First love. Did you tell your parents of your first love?” Ruby asks.

“Well no, obviously, I told Beth and she gave me the birds and the bees speech. She also got me a box of condoms and some lube, just to embarrass us both further. We all know how that went.”

Stan approaches this subject very cautiously, “have you talked about sex with him? I mean, since he decided to transition.”

“The only talk we’ve had was when he was little, he told what he read in a book about “what makes a baby”. I just figured since we talk about everything, he’d come to me beforehand, I mean, I’m a cool mom.”

“If you wanted, I could talk with him? Man- to- man? You know what I mean, I think it might be easier sometimes to talk to someone else than your mom or dad.” Stan offers.

“Stan’s really good to talk about sex.” Ruby interjects.  
After a look from Annie she added, “he talks to troubled teenagers at the church from time to time, gives them advice and is being a positive role model.”

“Yeah, that would be great. I can’t believe he’s so grown up.” Just looking at him fills her heart to the brim, sometimes it makes it feel like her hearts too full and it hurts all this love she has for him.

Beth’s across town with some scrawny kids, sorting money in one of Rio’s warehouses. There young, in their late teens or early twenties. She’s worked with them for some time now, long enough to have inside jokes and she brings them their favorite cookies from time to time. Most of them are Latinos and she know that somethings that she knows they don’t know. When they start speaking Spanish however, she’s figured out that they mostly talk about Rio and in some sense her as well. It’s all fine, she knows them well enough that she’s certain they aren’t talking shit about her.  
Not all of them are Latinos, some of them speak Arabic and some speak a Slavic language. It’s gendered mixed as some of them are couples and some of them are, _friends with benefits?_ She tries to not notice and get involve.  
The work they do is not heavy work, it’s just side work as some of them are finishing their senior year and the others are just trying to get their life going. Coincidence and chance as brought them together, Beth tries not to mother them too much, it’s so engrained in her, it’s been a part of her for so long. Ever since her parents decided to stop making and effort or bothering with keeping up appearances.

“Javier, how did your test go?”

“B+” He looks so delighted with himself, like he still can barely believe it.

“That’s great! I’m so proud of you!” She gushes, he’d studied so hard to get good grades.

“How about you Fatima?”

“B-.” She on the other hand is disappointed.

“That’s great, you’ve had so much on your plate lately. You should be pleased with that.” She tries to assure her, Fatima’s mother has a new boyfriend, leaving her to take care of her younger siblings far to often.

One of the kids gives her an upwards nod, as to warn her, but then he’s there standing close to her, studying her working. Things were awkward between them, but she was alive, so hey, she wasn’t complaining too much. He’d given her sometime before he’d somehow managed to wrangle out of her that they found a way to make their own money. It didn’t take him long to have an operation up and running, she was overseeing things, not so much for doing footwork anymore.  
The kids she worked with had figured out quite quickly they had a history of some sort, it didn’t help that he had someone to pick her up everyday and drive her home at the end of her shift. Sometimes he did it himself, those rides were either filled with business talk or awkward silence.

Today he was holding a take-out bag in his hands, he overlooked what they were doing for a few minutes. Asking questions and Beth tried to not be affected by his proximity. She can feel the eyes of her colleagues darting between them, trying to get a read on what’s going on between them. They tried to fish a little, since no-one actually had the guts to ask her upfront what their relationship was, she could easily dodge those questions.

When he’s finished checking the product, he asks her, “shall we?” Motioning towards his office, with the food his picked up from that restaurant which makes the cheesiest risotto he noticed she loves.

“Yeah, sure.” She feels like everyone in the warehouse is glancing at her, asking silent questions of what makes her so special?

The food is delicious, they talk about work and everything that’s not too important. Rio handed Beth the mushroom and cheese risotto while he started and the salad with pear, walnuts and blue cheese. Halfway through their meals they switch plates, getting two dishes instead of eating just one. It’s one of the habits they’ve formed.

It’s Rio who decides to get personal, “how are you feeling?”

“I’m fine. There’s a lot of logistics at home right now that I’m trying to sort through. Other than that, I’m fine.”

Rio had taken her for a check- up, wanting to make sure she was all healthy. Due to her previous postpartum and family history, the doctor had prescribed her some small white pills she’d been familiar with before. It had taken the worst edge off, along with a few sessions with her previous therapist (she had sent the bill to Rio). She was in fact feeling alright again. Somethings were just out of her control.

“How are you feeling?” She asks him back, this is the first time she’s asked it she realizes. She hadn’t wanted to hear his answer before.

He mulls it over as he clears the table, opening a cabinet grabbing the bourbon, she’s sure he only keeps it for her sake. He grabs two glasses and the dessert from the bag. Dark chocolate mousse, Beth is practically already drooling, she sips on her neat bourbon as he putters around the room.

“I’m getting there”, he offers as he takes his seat across from her.

They eat the dessert in silence, it’s a comfortable silence for once and she’s glad she asked him. She’s glad about his answer, she knows he wasn’t unaffected by it all, but him confirming it, it warms her up a bit.

When he’s glass is empty, she tops them both up and leans back in her chair. She’s basically devoured her dessert while Rio seems to savior his.

He’s the one to break the silence first, “I really didn’t believe you at first.” He starts with. “I know you know how to lie your way out of situation, bluff your way out.”

She lets his words embrace her, if he only knew how well he knew her.

“I never thanked you for that night. For getting me to a hospital, for taking care of me, for letting Ruby know.”

“Of course.”

He makes it sound so simple, like their relationship had a place for _trust_ and _of course._

“I got so fuckin’ scared when I opened the door and saw all that blood. It hurts to think that you didn’t trust me enough to go get me. I mean I get it, but still, I thought you knew that when it matters, you can count on me.”

In all honesty, she hadn’t thought she could count on him when it mattered the most. Not knowing how to answer, she files those words away for later. For when she’s home, alone, to dissect them.

When their glasses are empty again Rio’s the one to top them up. To ease the tension, he starts telling her ridiculous story about his job, of things not going his way. It takes a few, but now her cheeks hurt from smiling and he tries to get to the point of the story that seems to be lost somewhere along the way.

“I know it’s got a point, the story…”

She can hear the bourbon effecting his voice, he isn’t drunk, he’s relaxed and his stories have been taking twist and turns. Making sure she gets the situations fully, as well as letting her know he’s done his fair shares of dumb things.

“Well, I’ll be honest, it’s gonna’ be real loose.” Trailing off after that, he tries to remember what the point was.  
“I didn’t think you were pregnant,” deciding to abandon his previous story, he likes to talk about stuff, talk things through. They never really had talked this through. “It wasn’t until I was holding you in the backseat of that car, that I realized I’d let myself hope that maybe you were.” It’s a peace offering of sorts, a full one.

“I’m sorry.” At first she’d felt that it was her fault, that she somehow failed to keep her baby safe. That wasn’t it though, she’d come to understand.  
“Have you talked to anyone about it?”

“Who would I have to talk to?” 

“A friend?”

“I don’t have those kinds of friends.”

“That sounds, lonely.”

“Yeah.” It’s lonely at the top, he thinks to himself.


End file.
